I hate when they spill hot food on me; I hate when move me all around there house; but most importantly I hate when they sit on me! Sitting is for chairs not coffee tables! The Jone’s family always set there heaviest plates of food on me so they can watch T.V. no wonder why America is fighting obesity. They were the worst ever for spilling food it is just so annoying well they put enough food to fed Africa on their plate no wonder why they always spills!
My back hurts so bad when they use me, I’m always afraid my legs are going to give out or my back is going to break right in half! Also they always me move all around the house like every two months just pick a place already! People don’t care where you put your coffee table gosh! I like it in the living room I just get a perfect amount of light to get my perfect golden brown tan. Everyone else likes me there too I’m the first thing they see when guests walk in the ugly little door of theirs.
I love when there not home so I can just relax and not have food on my or butts all up in my grill! Its just so nasty when they sit on me I can tell they haven’t showered for days. Maybe weeks! What is that your bringing into our house? A new coffee table?!?! No! No this can’t be true! You will never have a coffee table like me just wait you’ll see! (Beat) Mr. Jones please don’t leave me
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